Dancing with diabetes

I have been a dancer since before I was diabetic. The first question I asked upon diagnosis was if I was able to continue dancing or not. (My Type 1 diabetic grandmother reminded me of this days before she passed as a constant reminder of needing to live the hell out of my life!)

SONY DSCAs a dancer and a diabetic, this balance has been rather difficult. As a child I sat in the front of the room chewing Starburst candies during ballet rehearsal and as a teenager sipped Gatorade at football games and band rehearsals. In college I gulped down cereal bars and now I quickly chew up fruit strips. Oh how we have evolved 😉

No matter the saving grace substance of the year, the problem will never change or cease to exist. Low blood sugars are a reminder, that in fact, no matter how hard I attempt to muscle up my emotions and put-togetheredness it doesn’t matter. Nature will still get the best of me and pretty much always win. And that’s okay.

Not in a glorious or “it’s beautiful because it’s part of nature way”, but in a “I will survive hey, hey!” way. Fuck diabetes. And having to shoot 16 ounces of orange juice at 6am. And wake up at 2am to make sure I don’t need to. And plan when exactly I’m going to eat lunch so I can shoot up 45 minutes before.

It’s okay in the kind of way that it has to be. And that’s not a pity party. No one should feel sorry for or give a furrowed brow look to their diabetty friend. Give them a wink,  a hug and a cup’o’juice at the moment and maybe a glass of wine at the end of the day. They got this.

Hello there ;)

I’ve never blogged before and I still am 99% uncertain about doing so, realizing I will be the only person to read it. However, maybe at the least it will make me feel fancy to read my own thoughts online instead of scrawled on paper. I’ve been a Type 1 diabetic for 17 years. I’m a dancer. I’m married to a kind, silly, wonderful man. I’m the mother to the coolest black cat this universe has ever seen. I’m an arts admin. I love to cook and make smoothies and drink wine. I will revel in/bitch about/expand on/run in circles around all of the above.

Please stick around and enjoy the bitching, sharing and whining that will ensue on this Diabetiblog 🙂

LIKE

I love driving in the rain. It makes me feel dramatic…. in a non-over the top kind of way. It feels a little cinematic and a little bit like something really exciting is about to happen.

Frankenstein is our cat…or more like our son. I love this cat to a sick level. But he’s great. He fetches paper balls and receipts and anything that makes noise. The downside is that he steals money out of wallets/purses. He is my child and don’t tell me otherwise. I don’t want human babies so this is my equivalent. He’s adorable and you know it.

My husband. If it weren’t Chris Miller I’m not sure where I would be. He is the best carer and helper and husband and partner I could ever imagine. I’m so happy to find a man who loves to yell at the top of his lungs at Texans games, cry a little at my dance performances and think really hard about sermons at church, books he reads and difficult subjects we discuss.

My family.  My immediate and extended family could kick your family’s ass. From my awesome mama bear who is my biggest cheerleader and advocate I could ever ask for no matter what I do, to my father who taught me that it’s always okay/best practice/therapeutic to show your feelings, to my sweet, sweet brother who loves unconditionally at such a young age, I am supported by a line of people who give and share and know the worth of a giant hug and a kind word.

DISLIKE

Crying. I hate crying. Regardless from a baby, a child, myself, especially a friend/family member. It always feels weird and I feel like I cried too much as a kid to deal with it well as an adult. I was a giant crybaby. GIANT.

Glitter and Bows. You look stupid. Whether you’re an adult or a child, you look dumb if you’re covered in glitter or are wearing a bow larger than the size of the palm of your hand. Sorry to disappoint, but it’s a valid statement.

Ridiculous blood sugars. Today I woke up with one of my daily morning alarms at 6am to check my blood sugar only to find it was at 49. I had a cup of juice and woke up 2 hours later to a blood sugar of 200. Really? No one wants to start their day with a swing of 150 points.